Sunday, August 01, 2004

MY JERRY SPRINGER MOMENT (Convention - Wed 28th)

Jerry Springer, of the Ohio delegation and our first “big” interview of the convention was highly representative of most mid-to-high ranking delegates, staffers and pols we met: he spoke the banal news-proof spin-speak, projected positivism and unity past credulity, and he, quite frankly, smelled. Democrats (the men) need to take a step back and solve the B.O. issue perhaps even before brewing up a coherent foreign policy. Just a suggestion, fellas.

I played the good journalist first and asked Jerry if he planned to run for governor in ’06 (as some expect him to). He said “I’m not looking for a job” but it’s an option. (Read: Of course I am. I can pay for it myself. The Ohio democrats are a joke. And Schwarzenegger proves celebrity equals electability.)

Then I asked him where the outrage was at a convention of Dems so seriously embittered at the president, but so glaringly missing in the speeches to this point. Springer responded the convention as he saw it was a big group “pep rally” for the team before we go out and win, win, win! I responded that it seemed almost like the party was having a big group repression session. And then Jerry Springer, yes the same Jerry Springer who lets lesbians claw each other on his show, said I was being extreme. Sheesh.

Not having expected to run into the “Ringmaster of Sleaze” that was pretty much all I could think of, so I asked the next thing to randomly pop into my head.

“Isn’t Ron Reagan (Jr.) quite the metrosexual?”

Jerry would only say he seems like a very nice man.

Why was I even taking Jerry Springer seriously to begin with? I don’t know; it seemed like the thing to do, he was an elected delegate after all, and there were no transvestites around to throw chairs at. Or maybe there just weren’t any chairs. Whatever.
Still, Jerry, next time, some cologne, por favor.


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